Loneliness
Loneliness is a feeling almost all of us are familiar with. Sometimes, even when we’re surrounded by people, we can still feel alone.
It’s a heavy feeling, the sense that we have no one to turn to, no one to share with, no one to be with or spend time with. There’s no one who truly sees us, understands what we’re going through, or cares about us.
We can feel lonely regardless of our age, family status, place of residence, employment situation, and more.
Loneliness is a “tricky” and loaded emotion.
It’s tough and painful, and it intensifies when there’s no one to share that feeling with.
In many cases, loneliness is accompanied by other feelings like fear, hopelessness that change can still happen, guilt over things we did or didn’t do that led to our feeling of loneliness, or perhaps we feel anger towards others who distanced themselves or hurt us.
It feels like a loop.
A loop we find hard to break out of – there’s no one to share with when we feel the difficulty of loneliness. It’s a feeling of emptiness that’s hard to fill.
You can feel lonely when you’re by yourself, and you can also feel lonely when you’re with others – among people, with family, friends, or relatives. Sometimes, being surrounded by people actually emphasizes the gap between our external environment and our internal feelings, intensifying the loneliness.
The feeling of loneliness isn’t necessarily related to the number of friends we have, but rather to how happy and satisfied we are with those connections.
Each of us needs a different number of connections, and our needs can change throughout our lives.
Why Do We Feel Lonely?
There are many reasons why we might feel lonely. We can feel lonely if we sense that our relationships aren’t deep or close enough. Sometimes, loneliness arises from a crisis or difficulty in relationships with people close to us. Not just arguments or conflicts can distance us from loved ones; even the need to keep a secret or hide things can lead to estrangement and loneliness.
Loneliness can also emerge due to life changes we go through, such as moving to a new place, a job change, childbirth and parenthood, ending a romantic relationship, divorce, retirement, or the loss of a loved one. Every such change brings with it a shift in the social circles we’re familiar and comfortable with, and new social connections take time to develop and strengthen.
When Is Loneliness a Problem?
Loneliness is a natural feeling that everyone experiences occasionally, but when it’s prolonged, it can become a problem. Part of the increasing difficulty is the feeling that there’s no one to share with and no one who can offer support.
Loneliness that lasts a long time can lead to feelings of isolation and disconnection from our surroundings, harm our mental well-being, and cause a decline in mood. In such a state, it’s sometimes hard to see the possibility of change
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When there’s a continuous feeling of difficulty and loneliness, meeting people can become harder, and can even trigger anxiety or anger. If the situation persists for a long time, the feeling of loneliness can lead to a significant decrease in daily functioning and harm social and family relationships, as well as health.
If the feeling of loneliness continues and even deepens, causing pain and distress, impacting quality of life, self-worth, and a sense of capability – it’s possible and advisable to ask for help.
How to Cope with Loneliness?
There are all sorts of ways to cope with loneliness. This can be an opportunity to get closer to ourselves; we can view loneliness as a meaningful state of self-discovery.
You can also take practical steps to find company and alleviate loneliness. Of course, you can pursue both paths simultaneously in terms of internal work.
Sometimes even one step can create a change. You can start with a small step, which can open a door to new possibilities. Even admitting that it’s hard for us and perhaps we’re tired of feeling this way and beginning to seek help or support to create change – that’s already a start. Every step counts, even just coming to this website and reading.
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Self Help Tips
Renew Connections with People You Already Know
This can be easier than forming new connections. Perhaps at first, it might be a bit daunting or raise concerns, why suddenly reach out after a disconnect? But you might be pleasantly surprised to find that they are also happy to reconnect.
Do Things You Love
Listen to music, dance, spend time in nature. These activities can strengthen you, both physically and emotionally, and can even slightly shift your perspective from despair to hope. And perhaps, it could also be an opportunity to meet new people who share similar preferences.
Volunteering
Find a volunteer opportunity or other activities in a field that’s close to your heart. This is a chance to do something meaningful for others and for yourself, and to meet new people with similar interests. Anything that fills you from within counts, and remember, even a small step is a start.
Movement and Exercise – Whatever’s Possible
Move your body: physical activity not only benefits our physical health but also impacts our mental well-being. A walk in the park, yoga, or even dancing at home to your favorite music can lift your spirits. For seniors, light exercises or Tai Chi can help strengthen the body and provide opportunities to meet other people.
Join In-Person or Online Groups and Communities
There are many groups tailored by age, hobbies, or shared interests, such as reading clubs, sports teams, creative writing classes, cooking, or online forums and meetups. This is a pleasant way to meet people in a supportive environment.