There is often a debate about whether discussing death by suicide, by parents, educators, and in the media – increases the risk or, on the contrary, reduces it and even saves lives.
In the past, talking about death by suicide was almost a taboo. The assumption was that the very act of talking about it could “put ideas into people’s heads.” However, it is now known that the opposite is true. It is very important to talk about these issues and not try to hide or ignore them. A proper conversation about suicide has a preventative value.
When we don’t talk about suicide, which even children and teenagers are exposed to, a problematic message is conveyed. This message essentially says that there is no place for emotional distress in family, educational, and social conversations; that we are unable to handle complex and difficult feelings; and that we cannot truly be a resource for help.
The American Psychological Association recommends telling children as young as elementary school age, and certainly teenagers, who have been exposed to suicide that the person “died by suicide.” This should be done without going into details or descriptions and in an age-appropriate manner. When we talk about this with sensitivity, we convey the message that emotional pain also has a place and that we are here to listen to and support them in any situation. For every problem, there is more than one solution.
Media Exposure
It has been found that raising the topic of suicide in conversation with people in distress can save lives. Raising the topic within the general population can also have preventative significance.
In contrast, media exposure can be harmful and even lead to social contagion if the topic is covered in a dramatic way (front pages, large headlines), if it glorifies suicide (or the person who died by suicide), and if it describes methods and locations in detail. This is known as the “Werther effect,” which describes a wave of suicides following the publication of Goethe’s novel, The Sorrows of Young Werther.
It has been found that media exposure to death by suicide of role models is particularly harmful to vulnerable people dealing with severe distress, distorted thinking, and psychiatric disorders, who may see the coverage as a justification for suicide.
It has been proven that irresponsible coverage of suicide cases leads to an increase in suicide rates in the weeks and months following the publication. On the other hand, a decrease in suicide rates has been reported after coverage that highlights risk factors, coping and prevention strategies, and resources for help in times of distress.
Do Not Confuse Circumstances with Causes
Often, there is a harmful tendency to turn circumstances into the cause of suicide. For example, “he committed suicide because of unrequited love,” or “she committed suicide following bullying.” This tendency is wrong and dangerous, and it’s important to avoid it because it directly links one characteristic to death by suicide as a cause and effect. This can be mistakenly interpreted as a legitimate reason for suicide by people in severe distress with suicidal thoughts who are dealing with those same difficult circumstances.
Suicide is always a combination of multiple factors, including individual factors (personality traits, problem-solving ability, cognitive flexibility, and willingness to seek help), as well as environmental factors (social support or its absence), and circumstantial triggers. In this context, personal resources and professional and social support when needed are protective factors that have the power to save lives.
When we talk about suicide, it is important to avoid using terms like “chose to commit suicide” or “succeeded in committing suicide.” Instead, one should say directly, “died by suicide.” This conveys that suicide is not an “accomplishment,” a phrase that could be misinterpreted as a heroic act worthy of imitation. Suicide is also not a “choice,” as the emotional distress and unbearable psychological pain that contributed to it were so great that, along with cognitive narrowing and tunnel vision, they prevented the person from making a considered decision in the conventional sense of the word.
By providing knowledge about signs of distress, principles of mental health first aid, and information about support resources, suicide can be prevented and lives can be saved. However, you don’t always see the signs or understand their meaning. Following a suicide, many of us feel a tormenting sense of guilt. Those around the person also need to be listened to and supported, and for them, too, it is very important to maintain an empathetic and sensitive conversation.
ERA’N volunteers are here to talk with you at any time, anonymously and discreetly.
This article was written by Dr. Shiri Daniels, National Professional Director of ERAN.